I'm not engaged.
It hurts more than you know to read those words and realize that after a five month engagement, I am a single girl. Not completely unattached. We're going start completely over in a few weeks but for now, we are nothing. There is no we.
I've been very unemotional about it. I mean, I haven't cried very much. I'm sad. I'm angry. I feel like it's not fair. Not fair. I gave up everything. Everything and it wasn't good enough. He told me...Jeni, I'm not ready to get married. Let's get married in a year and a half to two years. And within the course of 24 hours it became, let's get married in 3 years. Then it became we aren't engaged, let's start over. Until I said...You start it over. We're not together. You can court me and ask me out but we won't be the same.
The comical part...I demanded a Tiffany ring if he was planning on proposing ever again. I want my little blue box.
I'm a bitch.
I mean, I'll be graduated by the time he will be ready to get married.
I just never thought that he would ever take it back.
It's pretty empty here.
By here I mean me.
But I don't want sympathy. I don't. I'm going to live for me. I have school. I have friends. He can fight for me for once. In a way, I'm happy.
But only in a way.
So, with all that said...I'm staying at Western. I'm going to do everything in my power to make the money to stay right here. And I will graduate in 2 and a half to 3 years. And I will be happy.
"Life inside this music box ain't easy, I want to sing another melody, so different from the one they're singing."
Now, I will be Defying Gravity again. :)
"Believe your life is worth living and belief will help create fact."-William James
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