I used to be love drunk; but now I'm hungover.

I'll love you forever

But now it's over!

And it is over. Over for good. And I'm perfectly ok with that. I know a lot of people are really surprised that I'm ok because 1. I really love Billy and really wanted to marry him and 2. I'm a huge drama queen. But I'm actually doing pretty good. It just wouldn't have worked. Too much was said and done. I'm so content. I know he's really sad about it but we ended on good terms and we still talk about our days to each other. I do feel guilty for not being sad though. I think I cried enough over him the past 5 years that I just can't cry anymore. I really feel bad for being happy. But I AM! I mean, I love him. There's no doubt about that, I'll always love him, but never in the way that I used to. Now I love him like you love memories or a song. That sounds weird but it's true. I learned a whole heck of a lot from everything that happened this year.

I truly believe everything happens for a reason. Every little thing. You learn from everything. God caused this for some reason. Already I see a lot of positive that is going to come out of this. I'm staying at Western. I get to be roommates with Emily again. I'm going to try to study in Italy. I get to do TCH next year. And so many other things. Maybe this is growning up, realizing that shit happens and it's not the end of the world. Whatever it is, it makes me feel so mature.

On another note, I had one of THE best weekends ever. I have some pretty amazing friends. Ones that don't value sleep, which makes life more interesting. :D

"We grow neither better nor worse as we get old, but more like ourselves."

-May Lamberton Becker